busy little bird

Until early November I am working two jobs, just because of a logistics problem that required an overlap. I am far busier than I like to be, because I am a person who needs downtime, creative time and play time (but then, aren’t we all, really?)

Lately I am a living embodiment of that adage ‘all work and no play, makes ***** a dull girl’. I feel like this busy little wax-eye which visited my back yard on a recent cold day. He was so busy, I couldn’t get a clear photo of him. Whirr! Whizz! Darting from thing to thing, scurrying around, such urgency!

I co-teach Day Retreats at Zing Studio and we talk a lot there about self-care. Each retreat we have at least one person, sometimes more, who an hour or so in dissolves into tears because they have been over-busy and over-burdened and stopping makes them feel the true weight of all they are carrying. Luckily, we are well-set up for tears at Zing. Nat buys tissues in bulk.

Being this hideously busy has been a good lesson in mindfulness and holding fast. It is easy to stay present and mindful when you are well rested and life is good. The challenge is to keep all those balls in the air…juggle juggle juggle…and not to fall over yourself.

I’m (just! just!) managing things by:

-complaining to my friends and getting it off my chest

-keeping on with my self-care regimes – even though I feel like I’m ‘too busy’ to go to yoga, have a hot bath, go for a river walk, spend an hour in the garden…the nourishment and restorative energy these things give me are well worth the hour they take. Without them I would feel far more depleted than I do.

-letting my house-keeping standards slip. It’s only for a short time and no one ever died because there was a cobweb in a corner or a smeary window.

-laughing at myself when I get stressy and flibberty-jibbert, because I am amusing when I’m like that and does my flapping help me get things done faster? No.

Come summer, when I’m down to one job and the book will be finished and launched, I am looking forward to:

-a summer of slow

-long, languid meals rather than rushed, functional ones

-lying on the lawn and daydreaming

-having more time to play with the kids and be one myself.

-having time to make things and poems again

Being a busy little bird has been an interesting visit, but it isn’t a land I want to dwell in too long. I’m looking forward to returning to a snail’s pace for the hotter months.

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