on the outskirts of every agony

7 thoughts on “on the outskirts of every agony”

  1. I had no idea memory loss and changed perceptions of time are effects of grief. I’m so glad you told me that, so that like you I can feel a little more assured that I’m not going crazy. Lots of food for thought in this post, I’ve actually been thinking a lot lately about how we share ourselves on the internet and how caught up we’ve all got in playing that even cries of/for authenticity and ‘realness’ are part of the game. It makes me sad (I got a little teary reading this) when I think of my connections with people I love being somewhat solely online based and that there is such a fear on my part of trying to break out of it in case it isn’t received well on the other end. On the other hand I’m all ‘I LOVE THE INTERNET’ because, I do. I’m so grateful for the connections I’ve made because of it and for the life I’m able to try and live because of it. There’s still and always will be I think, that pull between those two feels that I’m not sure we’ll get to shake.


  2. Great post! Love how you balanced the heavy thoughts with spud gun action. Brilliant. My column in the Martinborough Star next month mentions that grief has many strange unknown repercussions, one that doesn’t pertain to you of course but it’s interesting nonetheless. It can make people want to have an affair or overbond inappropriately with others or buy a mental sports car or run to the other side of the world etc. Not only just recent grief, but significant grief anniversaries. We are all such complicated little creatures really aren’t we! And my thoughts about social media and connections, its kind of like when “they” switched us from records to cds and we didn’t get much say!


  3. oh, how did i miss this post? it’s wonderful. i like it when you write about the creative process and your deep thoughts.
    the easy access via social media to schadenfreude, bystander effect and general hollow-feeling friendships is something i think about a lot, but haven’t been able to really articulate, until you did. thank you!
    looking forward to reading what you’ve been writing on capitalism/environmentalism.


  4. Hi Helen, I never tend to leave comments on people’s blogs or anywhere else really because I am a bonafide technophobe and terrified that I will say something stupid that will haunt me forever (probably quite outmoded logic but there you have it). But this is such a great post especially your discussion of FOMO and the strange new territory that social media has mapped out for our friendships. I really appreciate your honesty, it really is such a relief to read a blog that isn’t agenda driven. And like tiny happy says above, you have this great ability to illuminate a major issue simply by teasing it out and approaching it with clarity and honesty. I recently joined facebook again and I’m mildly scared of it. I don’t really understand how it works and I’m never entirely sure who can see what. I think if I was to be honest with myself, I really only joined because of FOMO. And on another note, I really appreciate how generous you are with sharing your writing process. I hope we get to meet up one day for a cuppa (in real life!) and a yarn about such things.


  5. Thanks, Therese – I appreciate you leaving a comment. I hate facebook, too and am definitely only on there because of FOMO – especially around writing news – so many opportunities and updates are only released on social media now, you can’t rely on websites anymore. Hey, best of luck with your book launch and all the stuff that happens around it! Thanks for stopping by the blog, x Helen


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